Monday 3 August 2015

How To Get The Most Out of Dating

Couples today, such as the Millennials, are waiting much longer to marry than their predecessors from 80s and 90s. According to Setrakian (2011), couples are dating 2.8 years before marrying. These couples are taking their time to marry for many reasons, such as values, careers, finance, education, family, and so forth. Therefore, couples are dating much longer. Many couples define little or no expectations for dating; until they are sure they want to marry. Dating can be much more fulfilling when a couple openly and honestly communicates realistic expectations about their relationship. The goal is to foster healthy thinking as a preventative measure during dating that can lead to positive practices within a relationship. In essence, couples manage the relationship before the relationship manages them. Here are seven strategies that I have found to be extremely helpful to young couples that think more cautiously versus carelessly about dating with a purpose. 
Couples can:

Establish Open Communications Early in the Relationship. Recognize that couples consist of two unique individuals that think differently regarding issues. There is nothing wrong with thinking differently as long as you both can discuss an issue in a healthy manner. In essence, patience, listening and open-mindedness are required skills that can lead to a more productive relationship. The goal is for you both to talk about any issue openly and respectfully.

Define Expectations for the Future. What do you both expect to gain from your relationship? When you both share your expectations early in the dating process, it will take the guesswork out of discussions for the future and minimize misunderstandings. If you are unclear about your partner's expectations, ask questions. It is better to know than guess and be wrong about something that could have been avoided with a simple question. As a couple, you should agree on major expectations you both define for your relationship. And, if you cannot agree on the major expectations, perhaps you need to rethink your relationship before any major commitments are made.

Evaluate Your Emotional, Sexual, and Spiritual State as a Couple for Balance. Are you happy with yourself? Yes, you can always improve. However, understanding who you are and being honest about your wants and needs will help your partner to gain a better perspective of you. It is something you should both do as a couple. Addressing the emotion, sexual, and spiritual aspects of your relationship is considering your relationship more holistically. A holistic approach creates balance for stability in the relationship. By taking a critical look at these, you both can determine whether or not the relationship is something you want to invest in short- or long-term.

Talk About Financial Goals and Plans for the Future. Often couples in long-term relationships don't talk about their debts, as well as their assets prior to marriage. It is important to set financial goals that include debt management, savings, retirement, student loans, children, vacations, and so forth, especially if you are planning to marry. Make sure you are both comfortable with your financial plan and make sure to review it often. Life changes occur and it may be necessary to reevaluate your financial plan in light of those changes. Therefore, you both can plan your future with informed decision-making.

Always Consider Your Partner as a Gift. Chances are you valued your partner when you first met. I certainly believe that your partner is a gift to be treasured. Therefore, it may take a little more effort for you to see the beauty over the flaws as your relationship develops, especially since no one is perfect. Commitment means to give love, respect, honor, value, kindness, patience, and encouragement at all times. Such commitment is protecting the heart of the one your love and to encourage them to respond in the same manner.

Seek Christian Marriage Counseling. If you want to spend your life together, perhaps it is worth considering counseling prior to marriage instead of latter. I strongly believe that couples who invest time in learning how to manage their relationship may be in a better position to save it before any damage can take effect. Counseling can help you both address common issues many couples are challenged by throughout their relationships, such as money, sex, communication, future planning, and so forth. Counseling can also help you take a critical look at yourself to be a better person in the relationship.

Plan Dates Together Consistently. Far too often couples get caught up in the challenges and movement of life and start to neglect an important aspect of the relationship, which is spending time together. Every couple needs consistent time together. It should not be limited to just taking a vacation. It simply means spending quality time reconnecting as often as possible. Planning dates together shows that you care about your partner and his or her needs, as well as your own. Spending consistent time together will keep your relationship fresh and ensure your commitment to one another.

Dating should be purposeful in order to get the most out of it. The seven key strategies to consider in dating are mentioned above and will help couples to focus on what is and is not important to the health of the relationship. And, the strategies may also help couples to identify possible issues that can occur upfront. Keep in mind no relationship is perfect. Couples can always make their relationship better with thoughtful planning, caring, communicating, and committing. Therefore, dating with a purpose can better prepare couples for a healthy relationship and marriage.

References
Setrakian, H. (2011). When dating, how long do you wait for a ring? eHarmony Blog. Santa Monica, CA: eHarmony.

Sheri E. Ragland, founder and CEO of Buzz About Relationship provides couples with the information they need to address common issues that exist within their relationships through various mediums such as articles, newsletters, blogs and books. We are hoping to expand our product offerings based on feedback from the many diverse and colorful couples we work with. Seven Deep Insecurities Men Don't Want Women to Know written by Sheri E. Ragland is available on our website now at http://www.buzzaboutrelationships.com.

Article Source: EzineArticles

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